29 July 09

Hey Enigma!
He is showing me his old attitude again and I am pissed off and even i never really show but deep in my heart i am really pissed.Ok if you were to ask me directly do i like him? Of course it goanna be an ultimate yes! Next have i show my feeelings to him? ya i had even tell him more than once! Have i kissed him? Of course! The problem is why is he showing me the weird attitude that i just don understand! Using me? desperate of sex? haiyo! Oh god please show me the right direction whether this men is for me. Amin.

Sunday was hell

Haiz...what i can say about sunday!
I just hate to hear children to be rude to parents. Basically after my 2nd brother bring my 3rd brother out and they came home late and i was angry when my mum ask him nicely where is adik and he started to raise his voice upon my mum. Jezz! wat the fuck sia! so i was boiling home and i started yelling at him back and both uf us came to a chaos. And my mama is the funny type she scolded me back and told me to shut up! what the hell. Oh my god i just cannot tolerate this favourtism and chaotic things happening to me now. I am determined to leave the house and stay by myself.

nasha

Everything seems not right! why?

Yesterday was my hectic day and i was busy with General meetings and editting reports and think about choir. I pity xx..it seems that the commitee members are not having a good communication

Confused

I admit I have lots of boyfriends but the one that I really like is the ones which I am having difficulty communicating. For Instance, Azhar. He is my senior from ITE of the same course. To most of my classmates, they just do not like him but for me I just find him harmless and nice to be with. But ever since I know him up-close, I realize that he is having lots of personality change! HOLY SHIT! There is times when he will non stop SMS me and this can last a week then he will go silent and usually the silentness can last for months. Frankly speaking, lots of things I know about him is from my own research and not from his mouth! Well I am considered lucky to get the source correct but I am frustrated why there are things he hides from me and till now I swear I have doubts with him. Come on Aisah move on darling! Azhar won’t like you Please AIsah! I have been saying things a lot of times but truelly I just cannot forget him. I donnoe why.
Azhar I just hope one day u come to ur sense on what games ur playing with me. I just think I am stupid and very very stupid to like a guy like you. Jezzzzzz!...

Frustration

Frustration!

Hey enigma!

I am bloody frustrated today and this ain’t no kidding! I have always wonder why my life have been like this ever since I was 15 years. What is bothering me are:
Firstly I live in a home where there is a big communication breakdown especially with the MEN and WOMEN! It is a common thing to hear from the ladies and girls that they love their Dad and etc…etc… ME…I would love to say that I do not owe a DAD! I haven’t been speaking to him don’t mentioned a word okay to him ever since I fought with him last year December. ME and Him always have arguments basically because he thinks I want take charge of everything and worst thing he likes to pick on me. We do quarrel but this is the worst! I cannot tolerate him any longer! To what he have done to my mum, god grandma and to my family I am very sure to say I will forgive him but I am SORRY that I will not joined ties with HIM back as normal. I just cannot tolerate him any longer. Yes I do keep grudges and I am the type who hate people to control me for nuts, I hate people to keep telling what to do and what not to do! This is FOOLISH! Nothing can change the fact that I have issues with my Dad and I hate to call him as one.
Next my 2nd bro fadzil. OMG ever since I return from HK after 2 months, he change a lot in terms of the way he talk to elderly and a simple way to describe him is that…I see him as a no manners and no etiquette boy. Before he was not like this but eversince he mix with the “non-educated streets guys” his behaviour are like them. What a pity fad I wud say. I told him off he don’t like it and still stubborn to be the same. FINE! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and I am sure YOU WILL REGRET!...I hate it when this two people I just mentioned start to make a havoc in the house! I pity my mum koz she has been a very patient loyal wife and mom to tolerate all their nonsense but ME AS A SISTER AND DAUGHTER I DON”T!!!!!! Thanks to situation, I am hating relationship and thanks to situation too I am hating FAMILY. I know people out there will have another view of me but I don’t care koz I believe of myself more!

Nasha
5/7/09, 1:29am

MST MST MST

Oh my god today is the start of MST!! Hell ya men! how was the paper ehk? fair i would rate but to look at zhong hong paper oh great its fantastic...he like writing university essay of 1500 words damn it...haha...today went home wif my 2 gfs...fana look exhausted,,fizah sian look..mat kerisauan face...me chin cai la...haha...waiting for dinner with my gf at tpyh and steamboat summore...I miss Him...***.........Last word before go off..I will survive tmr paper! wee

Nasha

22 July 09

Hemm it is Monday today and what shall i say.....
Had geMS discussion from 1230pm to 330pm. Hand over my notes to selamat at somerset at 4pm. Spent my day at Amk library cafe till 0830pm.
My week last week was hell. I just don't know why i get frustrated with books, lecture notes, reports and anything got to do with my bloody diploma in food science technology course. I have been wondering whether is this what i really want though i wan be a Food microbiologist. Haks! there me go again. Fickle mindset! ahhaa...
Well i really want to work with the Health Science Authorities and also with music industry.
I love singing and yeah i love the piano and keyboards.
Niwaes last friday practice i just don noe why i am very different towards him. I am always wondering whether is he attached. He seems to drop at Raffles station if he were to take the MRT with me but i myself is curious on who is he meeting. Aisah why must you care of Him who don actually care about you! God damn it! It is called love. I like him and i hate it koz it is just making me answer questions and yet i have to figure out myself. Gheez!
Frankly, i think i am being paranoid lah. I wish i had a chance to have a conversation which is appropriate with him and not something technical about choir. What matters most is I like you and i don bother what people are going to say about you or my feelings.

More pictures of 27april 09

NP concert @ NAFA

27 april is the day where NP choir had their performance at NAFA and from my point of view it was awesome but can be better. The auditorium was full to what i observed and not forgetting i was being sabotaged by my peers to do them a big favour to give flower to Joe...of all things flower and yes on top of them despite having the bravery to sit at the front row we took lots of pictures.

Diarrhea....:<

Yesterday is so yesterday!
My mom and my bro shahril taking turns to go to the loo in the middle of the night! haha...after eating briyani they got diarrhea beb...wah sey! Me? I cannot sleep and doze off at 4am and woke up and 7am and rush to meet joanna at cck to take the psychology and counselling textbook. they i proceed to nat lib to do my proposal and chill around at city hall and window shop..wat a life..

Turning to a Black horse

New semester opening in a week time and if you goanna ask me am i ready to face another obstacles? tiredness? stress? frustrarion?..Hemm the answer is YES! wow! Nasha what a confident answer..haha...the reason being are, During the Holidays and after the result i had received, I realised that I have to be a BLack horse now and turn all the impossible to possible. I know most of you might think i have lost my mind but i am not ok. I had already make a decision of my life of 4 years from now. I also have decided where i wanna be? what i wanna be? This exclude having someone special in my life as that is not what i wanna achieve yet though i have someone in mind which is 10years older than me...Do not ask who koz i won't answer!haha..
I also have made a realistic plan and i am going to consistently follow what i write in that Blue Journal of mind...I suddenly realised that.."Come on aisha, you have to changed and be somebody out there and work out the impossible thoughts others and myself had in me for years!" I give my self a year to see the result of my new resolution of year 2!

Mission: To hit the target that i had been aiming
Motor: No rest...No peace when there is no Result! Yeah...

Work out Baby....

Yesterday was easter day...i slept at 6am...woke up at 3pm...wtf! haha....played keyboard and practice take five the wholesong for real men! haha...then i watch tv and hang around in the living room with my brother shahril. he is very cute little boy whom i like and hate at times...hahaha....

Today...I went to toa payoh gym at 1230 and out from there 230pm...i love the weights and i can see the difference in my arms and my body shape baby...i love it...who say short girls cannot work out huh?!...At 4pm check in to work and i and mom was having a thought that my pak long agaknye had strike lottery as his wife wanna visit us today...omg for real men! maybe there is something behind the visiting...psst i don trust my aunts and uncles aniwae...they have very weird thinking...hmmm i wonder!

Well tmr, i will be working out at the gym again but at YCK this time..practice keyboard and take one score and practice la muralla...the hatest song where joe find it a happy song...hahaha...Ni wae got go for work...

MUAX..

Sleeping disorders

I am having sleeping difficulties for almost a month...and i am down with melatonin...is that good or bad? hemm not sure actually...And every night as my clock strike 12 midnight when everyone starts dreaming comfortably in bed, i will be like ohk what should i start on now? You wanna know what?

1. Take out choir notes and start learning my parts with my keyboard
2. Turn on the TV watch
3. Listen to Jason Mraz - You and I Both (THIS HAD BEEN ADDicted TO ME baby!)
4. Thinking of Him... Missing Him

Actually i myself donnoe what is wrong with me really...Anyone have any idea? God this really bothers my life! haha

Monday practices

As usual Monday after spending my morning in Gym for 2hours at tampines, I will have to rush back to school for Choir...I reached at 645pm and haha as usual joe was late. haha...Yesterday the choir was not bad..we went through the lonesome road oh my god the song is so sad lar!!! and guess what we ended the song at 845pm and joe can say that oh its 845 aredi...duh! haha....The practice was indeed fun but bored as my gf joyce was not around...sigh! In between of practicing the song, i got tired when joe keep saying "I think we should borrow Sop2 to do alto1 part.." and i was like..."Oh god...i am so going hate you Joe..."and everyone starts to laugh and joe started to laugh too...and when he say ..."ok sapranos..u fine with ur notes?" i merely thought he is asking sop2 too..then i answered back.."yes." he turn around and say..."it is not your part yet!" i was like ok then when is our part?....Oh god the girls was commenting that i and him seem to have defensive arguments every practices...hhaha...but Joe i don't hate you only during practices haha...

Casual outing

Hola...
Today is a okay2 day...I done the house chores and sent my bro to madrasah and meet Dian at cityhall to catch up. We had our lunch at McD @ marina Square and haha despite of me having sore throat, i still drink frappe...crazi me...We went to Carrefour @ suntec and esplanade lib awhile as i wanted to find some music scores for my practice at home and updating this blog while she is smsing...hehe...Next trip is to Daiso @ plaza sing as i have to buy some household stuff...ghees i sound so mumly...haha..

Aprilfool

Today is Aprilfool! haha..my brother was being pranked by me like hell...haha...Now i am ging to work soon...And today there is Gats buster....alamak i hate this...hopefully i pass thru the test well and get a good percentage for the shop..Amin...Timetable like shit!!!! I don understand the system of my school...wateveer it is next year last year and tahan only lor...haha..

My throat today is worsen and i cannot even Talk...My bros are laughing and saying to my mum..."Hey Mama,kakak Bisu aredi...HAhahaaa..."Fish them...plus they are irritating today..getting to my nerve la dis shahril but among all siblings I love him most as he listen to all orders I give him...

Niza asking and wondering who is the lelaki bertuah? haha...well it is someone and someone and definitely not Bambang as I know that Bang wants a GF badly like that..Wonder how this Niza will start her Mission impossible searching on the guy im talking...da investigate bilang gerl...
As for Joyce she and me is having a crazy betting and i am so stupid to accept it...Our bet was to find out if Joe is attached or single. And my stand was..."He is attached!" but Joyce stand was.."No lei..single..."..How we gng find out????
Ans: FABIAN..haha
Hopefully mine is correct so that I need not pay for her meal...Oops!haha
Kaes Enig im gng off soon...Muax...

Don't Hurt me like this!

Oh god after I came back from Sabah, I am having a sore throat and it is really hurting me...I am having a hard time talking and I don wan to miss choir this friday....god!...I am like a rawker now...Please throat i love u alot please dont make me sound like the bedroom voice for now...it sounds wrong to the male customers of mine...and funny thing today i can't even go out of cashier as the shop is fair enough crowded...but good la more sales..i hope i get well soon..Amin!
Going home now...Muax

CHoir is Happening now...

Guess what I am very delighted to see the changes of my Choir buddies and the ambience that is very pleasant and frankly It is BETTER now baby! Best of All our conductor Joe has shown us all alot of changes or maybe is it me who observed him alot? haha...For instance this picture you can actually see that we are UNITED and yar frankly i love all of them...they are like my laughing medicine to my stress and tiredness from work and etc...I remembered we forced Joe to take photo wif us as he was reluctant...hemm i just wonder if he were to have facebook, will he pose? haha...maybe but wif a mere expression...sorry Joe..but whatever it is I just wish I have the guts to tell you that we Choirs like the way you are now...Rock in Joe!Muax...

Hola

Hey hey...
Nasha blogging...hemm guess what due to boredness i had decided to create my blog even though i am not a regular blogger...check it out guys!

Nasha